Day 19 - Cultivating Community
“You can develop a healthy robust community that lives right with God and enjoy it’s results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.” James 3:18 (Msg)
Community takes commitment…
The sad truth of the matter is that most of us grew up in families that had unhealthy relationship so our interpersonal relationship skills are lacking. Many of us have been damaged haven’t we? There is great news though! Even though many of us didn’t get the right examples of how to love others in our lives, we can be taught by the Holy Spirit how to get along and relate in God’s family. Fortunately, the opportunity to take part in a community of believers gives us a chance to learn things that we never learned before. Real fellowship, love and healing is a gift that is available to us is we have the eyes and heart to see it…
There is a price to pay though… we have to be honest. Honest enough to say something to someone who may be hurting themselves when there may be no other person in that persons life that will speak the truth in love but you. How often we know what we need to say but never say it because we are afraid.
In cultivating community, we have a responsibility to be honest with each other. Real fellowship, whether in a marriage, in a friendship or a church, has to be built on a foundation of “speaking the truth in love.” We all seem to avoid conflict. We don’t want anything to destroy our sense of peace that we have built for ourselves. We don’t see many times how conflict is actually passageway to intimacy.
Have you ever got in a fight with your spouse, friend, loved one or co-worker, only to work it through to the other side and actually experience a deeper friendship, a more intimate relationship, and get that feeling of the relief that the air has cleared between you. You are actually closer? This is restored fellowship and true community, however you have to have the commitment between you and the other person to be able to not just walk away and say “who cares… I am not going to go through anything with this person…it’s not worth it…” It is worth growing in learning to love and build a strong foundation though…it helps strengthen our community..
Another building block for community is humility…. this is a big one for many of us because we are just so stubborn, self righteous and proud! I know.. not you… that other person…
Pride builds walls that surround us, humility builds bridges. According to the bible, “God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5 Pride blocks God’s grace in our lives which is what brings the healing, restoration, redemption and love that we so desperately need. The bible says that when we live in pride, we are living in opposition to God. This is not a good place to be. As someone once said “your arms are too short to box with God..”
You develop humility by admitting your weakness, being patient with others struggles and weaknesses, being open to correction, and not being a “know-it-all.” Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. Humility is thinking of others more and finding yourself serving others. God’s grace is poured out on those that are demonstrating humility.
Our reading brings out another area that builds community. Courtesy. Being courteous and respectful to others in spite of their irritating flaws and weaknesses. Our society today teaches us to jump on weakness. Why is that? Are we so unsure of ourselves and insecure, that we have to put other people down to feel better about ourselves. Courtesy is a wonderful gift that we have to give to each other. Someone once said that the key to building rapport with anyone is with one word. Respect.
There is a lot that can be said about this, but our reading makes it very clear today. Let’s build each other up through honesty, humility and courtesy. We will find ourselves in a community that shines the light of God’s love in a way that others will see and know we are Christians.