I am sure that there were parts of the book that spoke right to you and resonate like it did me. There were other chapters that perhaps didn’t strike a chord. All in all though I think we’d all agree that something was birthed here in the Antelope Valley. We are forever changed by what we have learned.

Our small group is continuing to meet. We have grown to love each other and care for one another in a way that is both exciting and humbling. We have had a chance to get to know one another, pray for each other and begin new relationships that would not have happened if we didn’t have the opportunity to share the 40 Days Of Purpose with each other. The fact is that we need each other, and just as Rick Warren points out in our second of the five purposes, we are “formed for God’s family…”

Speaking of family…

For those of us who have may have a tendency towards being happy lone rangers, and feel that the time commitment is a “hassel” or perhaps we minimize the role of other Christians in our lives, let me encourage you.

Getting on a more intimate level and not distancing ourselves is part of being able to mature in a way that we simply cannot do on our own.

I think that it’s an important reminder that we are not designed to live our lives alone and isolated. It’s just plain unhealthy. As we let down our guard and let other people in, an amazing transformation occurs. We find that though we may feel needy, (and we are), we actually have something to give. The gift that God has placed in us that perhaps we didn’t even know existed, begins to grow, blossom, be shared and recognized by the others that we are in fellowship with. It’s the precious gift of Christ-likeness that is released. We experience our third purpose… we were created to be become like Christ. He who gave Himself for us that we can live…

As we look ahead together and how we can apply what we have learned, let’s remember that God has created you with unique and valuable gift that you can discover and use for His glory. Though you may not see it clearly, and maybe you are even afraid to become vulnerable, it’s important to step out in faith and let your brothers and sisters see who you are. One of the ways to do this is in a small group.

With all of this in mind, this weekend is a very special weekend. We are having the Highlands Annual Ministry Fair where people from various home group fellowships will be available as well as music ministry, dance, exercise, Bible Study groups, Motorcycle groups, and many others will be sharing their passions and talents with you.

The idea is this….

We need you to operate in the gifts and calling that God has put in your life. This will include other people.. so.. take the time to get a sense for what you feel that may be, stop procrastinating and get involved.

Let’s remember what Matthew 12:14-30 says:

“For it is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them. To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey. Immediately the one who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more talents. In the same manner the one who had received the two talents gained two more. But he who received the one talent went away, and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

Now after a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, ‘Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.’

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’

Also the one who had received the two talents came up and said, ‘Master, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more talents.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’

And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed. And I was afraid, and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’

But his master answered and said to him, ‘You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed.

Then you ought to have put my money in the bank, and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest. Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.’

For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.

Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Not to good for the worthless slave…but here is the good news as we Look Ahead…

What a tremendous and absolutely incredible opportunity for us to invest our gifts and be pleasing in His sight. After all, as we have studied, our first purpose is that we were “Planned For God’s Pleasure.” Let’s bring Him pleasure!

We all have different personalities, backgrounds, cultures, and races, but we share the same Father, Spirit, baptism, faith, hope and love. The differences are meant to be appreciated, not judged or criticized. The unique fact is that there is no “perfect” church, because the minute you get there, it’s no longer perfect! We have to learn to accept, value and enjoy each other with our differences, and thus protect the unity that holds us together.

Another way that we preserve and protect unity is by lowering our expectations, or at least not having unrealistic expectations. The gap between the ideal church in our mind and reality sometimes can be pretty big can’t it? Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living in the tension…

Perhaps this is why God says to “be patient with one another making allowance for each others faults because of your love.” Ephesians 4:2

We become disillusioned with the church for many legitimate reasons. It can be a long list. Hurt, hypocrisy, neglect, pastors who fail, legalism, pettiness and many other reasons. Sometimes the hurts are intentional, sometimes they’re not. Whatever the reason, we need to realize that divorcing a church over the first sign of disappointment or disillusionment is a sign of immaturity. The next church you go to will have the same weaknesses and the cycle will just repeat itself. Every church should just put up a sign that says “No perfect people need apply, only people that admit they are sinners and need grace..”

There are four other ways that our reading today tells us how to preserve unity and protect our church.

1. Choose to encourage rather than criticize.
2. Refuse to listen to gossip
3. Practice God’s method of conflict resolution
4. Support your pastor and leaders.

We need to accept the challenge to protect and promote the unity of the church. This will please God and be the answer to Jesus’s prayer for unity.

Today’s reading is about restoring broken fellowship. The first sentence in this chapter reads: “Relationships are always worth restoring.” Wow… for those of us that have gone through some serious rifts with people, we may just want to put that person out of our mind, pushed away, subjugated to a dark corner that we don’t even want to think of… let alone restore.

This reading could potentially bring up more issues with us than we’d like to admit. We can read about how pride separates us and puts us in opposition to God, and say “yes, I have to deal with this pride I have..” But here is where the rubber meets the road doesn’t it. Can we honestly say that the person or persons that I have offended or have offended me, that we maybe don’t even see that much, needs to have fellowship restored with us?

Does God himself put a value on that relationship that we would rather want to discard, reject, and forget, because of past pain and hurt? II Corinthians 2:15 says “God has restored our relationship with Him through Christ and has given us this ministry of restoring relationships.” If God has restored us, do we hold back on being restored to others? Paul tells us that getting along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity.

If you want God’s blessing on your life and you want to be known as a child of God, you need to be known as a peacemaker. Not a peace “lover” because everyone loves peace and doesn’t enjoy conflict. Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers..” those who actively seek to resolve conflict. Nobody said that peacemaking was easy, on the contrary it’s hard work.

Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict, running from the problem, or pretending that it doesn’t exist. Being afraid to talk about it is actually cowardice. Jesus was never afraid of conflict. It’s all in how it gets handled. This is why we need the help of the Holy Spirit to teach us how to restore fellowship.

Our reading brings up seven steps to restoring a broken relationship.

1. Talk to God before talking to the other person.
2. Always take the initiative.
3. Sympathize with their feelings.
4. Confess your part of the conflict.
5. Attack the problem not the person.
6. Cooperate as much as possible
7. Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.

Each one of these seven steps can be expounded upon but suffice it to say that the spirit that we come to each other in is crucial. An attitude that sees that the relationship has value, is worth restoring, and our humble admission that we the need the Holy Spirit to guide us for the timing and the words to say.

We then focus on the part, we played (not being blaming, demeaning or sarcastic), and the problem our part played in the conflict. Cooperate and be courteous.

The goal is not to agree on everything, it’s to be reconciled. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. As we reconcile the problem may lose it’s significance and even becomes irrelevant. We may not see eye to eye with each other, but we can be restored and agree to disagree on some of the details.

Who knows what power can be released from our lives the minute we decide to take action and get things right. Light cannot fellowship with darkness. Have you been putting off getting restored with someone? don’t put it off anymore… the effort is worth it, the feeling of freedom and power comes from it, and God is able to use us in others lives to help them be restored.. a great purpose indeed.

Community takes commitment…

The sad truth of the matter is that most of us grew up in families that had unhealthy relationship so our interpersonal relationship skills are lacking. Many of us have been damaged haven’t we? There is great news though! Even though many of us didn’t get the right examples of how to love others in our lives, we can be taught by the Holy Spirit how to get along and relate in God’s family. Fortunately, the opportunity to take part in a community of believers gives us a chance to learn things that we never learned before. Real fellowship, love and healing is a gift that is available to us is we have the eyes and heart to see it…

There is a price to pay though… we have to be honest. Honest enough to say something to someone who may be hurting themselves when there may be no other person in that persons life that will speak the truth in love but you. How often we know what we need to say but never say it because we are afraid.

In cultivating community, we have a responsibility to be honest with each other. Real fellowship, whether in a marriage, in a friendship or a church, has to be built on a foundation of “speaking the truth in love.” We all seem to avoid conflict. We don’t want anything to destroy our sense of peace that we have built for ourselves. We don’t see many times how conflict is actually passageway to intimacy.

Have you ever got in a fight with your spouse, friend, loved one or co-worker, only to work it through to the other side and actually experience a deeper friendship, a more intimate relationship, and get that feeling of the relief that the air has cleared between you. You are actually closer? This is restored fellowship and true community, however you have to have the commitment between you and the other person to be able to not just walk away and say “who cares… I am not going to go through anything with this person…it’s not worth it…” It is worth growing in learning to love and build a strong foundation though…it helps strengthen our community..

Another building block for community is humility…. this is a big one for many of us because we are just so stubborn, self righteous and proud! I know.. not you… that other person…

Pride builds walls that surround us, humility builds bridges. According to the bible, “God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5 Pride blocks God’s grace in our lives which is what brings the healing, restoration, redemption and love that we so desperately need. The bible says that when we live in pride, we are living in opposition to God. This is not a good place to be. As someone once said “your arms are too short to box with God..”

You develop humility by admitting your weakness, being patient with others struggles and weaknesses, being open to correction, and not being a “know-it-all.” Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. Humility is thinking of others more and finding yourself serving others. God’s grace is poured out on those that are demonstrating humility.

Our reading brings out another area that builds community. Courtesy. Being courteous and respectful to others in spite of their irritating flaws and weaknesses. Our society today teaches us to jump on weakness. Why is that? Are we so unsure of ourselves and insecure, that we have to put other people down to feel better about ourselves. Courtesy is a wonderful gift that we have to give to each other. Someone once said that the key to building rapport with anyone is with one word. Respect.

There is a lot that can be said about this, but our reading makes it very clear today. Let’s build each other up through honesty, humility and courtesy. We will find ourselves in a community that shines the light of God’s love in a way that others will see and know we are Christians.

God intended for us to be able to share life together. This is what the bible calls fellowship. The word fellowship has lost a lot of it’s meaning through the years. If you ask, “where do you fellowship?” it means where do you go to church? It’s so much deeper and more meaningful than that…

Real fellowship is so much more than just “going to church.” As a matter of fact, it’s impossible to fellowship in a huge group. Have you ever gone to church and just felt like it was so big and you didn’t “connect” with anyone? You could just slip into the back of the church and leave, no one would even know you were there! Church doesn’t necessarily provide an atmosphere to deeply connect with others sometimes.

Fellowship is where you experience a rich a meaningful exchange between you and another person or a small group of people where you can experience life together. It is where love is developed, unselfish giving and comfort is shared. You really cannot find fellowship in a large group. Even Jesus only had twelve men that he was intimate with. It’s in a small group that you can let down your guard, take off the performance or fear masks, and let people see you for who you really are.

Recently in our small group during a time of sharing about the topic “who is your best friend and what was it about them that was special?” several of the group said that they didn’t currently have a best friend, or can’t remember ever really having one. We found that there was common thread of loneliness that was in many of us. We also found that being together and being able to share that, in fellowship, was a step to overcoming a feeling of being alone.

In order for real fellowship to flow, there must be dropping of the superficial, super spiritual, surface level chit chat. True fellowship is authentic. Genuine heart to heart, gut level sharing. Getting honest about what you feel and where you are at. Affirming others and sharing in their joy, questions and even suffering. It’s in times of crisis that we need each other the most, and it’s in these very times that we feel most unworthy and insignificant that we tend to withdraw. In a small group the body of Christ can best demonstrated and tangible.

Real fellowship is experienced when mercy is in operation. Fellowship is broken when is there is unrepented sin or unforgiveness operating. You cannot have fellowship if there is unforgiveness. God’s mercy to us is what we extend to each other. His forgiveness to us is what we extend to others. It’s inevitable that we get hurt when we get closer to people. The question is what do we spend our energy doing, retaliating or resolving it? The latter releases fellowship.

Remember, forgiveness completely deals with the past, but trust looks towards the future. Forgiveness is immediate. Trust is rebuilt over time. We learn to forgive, let go of the past, and trust that we will not be hurt again. The interesting thing is that sometimes all of the baggage we carry has never found a safe place to be let go with people that care, love and can walk with us through the healing. We can’t do it alone. We sure try don’t we?

True fellowship brings healing that we cannot give ourselves…

Discovering our role in life as it relates to other people. Is it possible that we really don’t find out who we are and our purpose without finding out who we belong to and where we fit?

Following Christ not only means to believe, but to belong…

When we are born again, we become members of a great family. We now have new brothers and sisters that we are can demonstrate love towards, and encourage daily.

How many times have you heard that your relationship with Christ is a very personal one? Though this is true, it’s never meant to be private. The good news is that you are not meant to be alone.

An example of this is the Garden of Eden, when God created man. In this perfect sinless environment, God looked upon man and said “It is not good for man to be alone.” It is not good to try and “make it” alone and without God’s family. Once again many of us have been duped to believe that “the church” is a place that a bunch of “do-goodies” all assemble one day a week and the rest of the week they are just like everyone else… This may be true to a large degree, however it doesn’t take away the original plan. God created you to be in a family, a part of His body, and there is a place for you that no where else can satisfy… it’s not going from one relationship to another, giving yourself away to someone who just leaves you with broken promises and heartache.

God’s family, though imperfect, is still your family if you have been born again. The good news is that as we give ourselves to be an active part of God’s family, (the church), we discover that we have a role in the body that supplies other peoples needs and gives us a purpose that we simply cannot get on our own as a “lone ranger.” We discover a sense of fulfillment, joy and purpose that is unspeakable!

Though it may seem like a harsh statement, think about this for a moment… The person that says “I don’t need the church” is either arrogant or ignorant. Why? Because Christ died for the church! It is so significant He died on the cross for it. “Christ loved the church and gave his life for it” Eph. 5:25 The church is the “bride of Christ!” Can you imagine saying to Jesus “I love you, but I can’t stand your wife…”

The truth is this. You are not meant to be alone. We may have had bad experiences with “church” people. Who know’s maybe you are someone else’s bad experience… but let’s not let that keep us from discovering where we belong. Let’s forgive those who have hurt us, been bad examples, used us and said that they were Christians. We need each other to be where and who we are supposed to be. You are a gift to me as I to you. Let’s rise up to the calling, be courageous and leave our fears behind. God has a unique role for you that is only yours.

Because God is love the most important lesson he wants us to learn on earth is how to love …

The bible says, “The whole law is summed up in this one command, Love others as you love yourself.” Galations 5:14 . our reading on this 16th day, reminds us that after we come to see our first purpose, to love and worship God, it’s from this posture we then realize our second purpose; we are being formed for God’s family. We can then turn our gaze to see each other, though imperfect and sometimes impatient and even irritating at times. Our purpose is to learn to love each other here on earth.

This can be a challenge can’t it? Human nature tends to be mighty self centered and self serving, but God has given us an entire lifetime to work on it. We stumble and fall in the process. We get hurt, and we hurt others, but through these things we are learning to love on another.

An interesting point brought out in todays reading is the one about how we are to love everyone, but especially those of the “household of the faith.” This focused special love towards other believers, our brothers and sisters in Christ, is a training ground where we can learn to love one another. Why a special place to learn in the family of God? Because the bible says that “they will know we are Christians by our love…”

This is a place of failure in many churches across the world isn’t it? Demonstrating Christ’s love for us toward each other. Too many times doctrine, rules, regulations, and even the improper wielding of the word of God demonstrates a strict, mean God that is mad at us. This is a terrible misrepresentation of God’s wonderful and amazing love he puts in our hearts to share with his people first, and then outward to the rest of the world.

Life without love is worthless. Paul says in 1 Cor 13:6 that “No matter what I say, what I believe or what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.” This is the truth.

Love cannot be learned in isolation. We have to learn it with people, and people need our time.

Are our relationships really that important to us? Sometime it feels as if things are going so fast, we are so busy, we just don’t have time. We talk about finding time, or making time, it’s as if relationships are just another part of our “to-do” list. It’s our relationships, not the acquisition of more things, that matters most.

The importance of things can be measured by the amount of time we give them, the more time you give to something, the more you reveal it’s importance. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, it’s how much we give of ourselves.

Many men just don’t get this. After all ,we provide things, work hard, solve problems, fix things.. isn’t that enough? What our kids want is not more stuff. What our spouses want is not an accounting of all the things we do for them, so…”be grateful..” The most desired gift of love is not diamonds, roses or candy. It’s our focused attention…being present, listening, your time!

Love means giving up- yielding my preferences, security, money, energy, hobbies and my time for the benefit of another.

Now is the best time to express it. Don’t wait for the right time, because the right time is now. Circumstances change, people die and children grow up. It happens fast and you have no guarantee of tomorrow. The best use of our lives is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now…

God wants a family and you were formed to be a part of it. This is our second purpose in life which he planned for you before you were born.

Todays reading opens the door for us to understand what a great purpose we have in being a part of God’s family as sons or daughters, with true spiritual brothers and sisters that we will be spending eternity with.

Because God is love he treasures relationships. We are not meant to be alone. He identifies himself in family terms, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We are his children the moment that we put our faith in Jesus Christ.

One of the things that might seem politically incorrect is the idea that though every human being is created by God, not everyone is a child of God. To become a child of Gods family, one must be born into it. This is why Jesus said to Nicodemus, “you must be born again…” Nicodemus was pretty confused by this concept, and asked Jesus “how can a man be born a second time?” Being born into God’s family and being a part of this eternal purpose gives God great pleasure and us some great benefits.

Here’s where things almost seem “to good to be true…”

The moment we are born spiritually into God’s family we are given some amazing and astounding birthday gifts. The family name, family likeness, family privileges, family intimate access and the family inheritance! In Philipians 4:19 we are told “My God will provide your need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”  Here on earth we are given the riches of his grace, mercy, kindness, patience, wisdom and power. We have a rich inheritance here on earth in God’s family.

We also have another inheritance. Our eternal one. The truth of the matter is that many of us really don’t think about this very often because we are so caught up with our day to day lives and, well, eternity is something that seems so far away. Some of us may not really care that much because we may think, “how can eternity affect what I am doing today?”

Let’s be open to what the bible says about this. “God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is reserved in heaven for you, pure and undefiled,  beyond the reach of change and decay.” I Peter 1:4

What this means is our inheritance cannot be taken from us. It can’t be destroyed by war, the economy or a natural disaster. How easy it is to not live our lives in view of eternity.

You are a part of God’s family. Being included in God’s family is an honor and privilege.  Nothing else even comes close. When you feel insignificant, unloved and unimportant, remember to whom you belong.